finding my voice…10 weeks

been a little quiet here lately…we have been busy…as children…parents…vacationers…photographers…and as a family…

 We are blessed to have Jason home for the summer school period and focusing on working one of his two jobs for now…the girls love having their Daddy home and I kinda like it too:)

The past 10 weeks have sped by and it seems like ages ago that Adam was born.  There are days that I feel like a child again…learning by baby steps the tricks to managing the busy and beautiful life of being a mother of 4 small children.  I sure have had some bruised knees as I have fallen a few times here and there as I learn the ropes of maintaining a good balance as a mommy to very young babes.  I just brush myself off and try at it again.  I am learning (well trying) to let my house stay messy…the laundry to pile (a little)…and that too much time on the computer makes my brain mush and my heart empty (can you resonate?)…

…and I am growing to love my husband more each day.  I am incredibly blessed and so thankful for him…from helping with our children, sweeping up messes, and reaching out to pick me up when I feel like I am “melting.”:)  Thank you Jason, I love you and appreciate you so much.  You bring me to my knees in gratitude for this life we are blessed with (4 kids in 5 years…who woulda thought?) and remind me of how important it is to remember always what is truly most important…our family…

…so in these 10 weeks I have brought a new child into the world…a soul so bright and good…I have learned to love my girls more…I have cried…I have laughed…and probably cried a little more:)

I have seen beauty behind and in front of a camera…I have fought baby blues…I am holding on to good habits and am trying to let go of bad ones (always working on this one)…I have seen my husband hold a son in his arms and found so much joy in seeing my girls love their brother…i have been reminded over and over again that it is the simple things that matter most…that time is the greatest gift…

…i have never felt so exhausted…*deep sigh*…but i have also never felt so alive…

there have been so many days I have lost my voice…and so many moments that breathe it back into me…

so here i am on my blog…i am finding my voice…again…with the still and timeless images like this one…

my son…how could you have only been in this world for 10 weeks?  how did we ever live a moment without you?

and this one…(he did his first ever oh so adorable giggle in this one…forever caught in this image…)

“TOUCHDOWN!!!”


 

 {these images are for you jase…sorry for the slobber on your good football:) } 

here’s to finding a voice…finding the voices that matter most…

the one in our heart that leads us where we need to go…

the light and little ones that tug on our bodies now …only to tug on our hearts later  when they soon will play only in our memories…

the deeper voices of those who love and support us…

and our own…

have a beautiful weekend

(off to bake M&M cookies with my girls…be back soon with some beautiful wedding images:))

xoxo

Tonya

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kristina - June 28, 2009 - 7:32 pm

so beautiful. hang in there, it gets better. unfortunately the laundry never goes away.

Herlehy - June 28, 2009 - 7:42 pm

Those pictures of Adam are DARLING! He is so cute! It must be so nice having your husband home for the Summer. Mark is usually home on Thursday evening, Friday, Saturday and Sunday sometimes I feel like a single mom. Hang in there! You are an AMAZING person with so many wonderful talents.

sharon - June 28, 2009 - 8:30 pm

You are surrounded by Love Tonya…just remember that. When it all seems too much, just stop, take a breath & ask for a little help from those around you. Even those precious little girls will understand that.
Love these images of Adam!
Love you,
Sharon:)

B.Jane - June 28, 2009 - 8:32 pm

Wow..You are VERY VERY talented! LOve it all… especially the football! Found you from Vintage pearl.

Sincerely B.jnae

Gen - June 28, 2009 - 10:23 pm

Tonya, you are a beautiful woman…and have spoken such beautiful words here…thanks for sharing. Love ya!

tonya - June 28, 2009 - 10:40 pm

Welcome back, Tonya. It’s nice to take a break from cyberspace but you were missed. Loved the touchdown pic of Adam…too precious! Glad you are finding the balance. It is ever changing but you will be grateful the quality time that you put into each relationship. Can’t wait to see your next post. Welcome back!

Vanessa T - June 29, 2009 - 7:28 am

Completely, perfectly beautiful. You, your darling son, that wonderful husband and those 3 princesses:)

Love your words, your photography is just amazing. Still my inspiration:)

No other words, I’m just smiling at the sweetness:)

Vanessa xxxx

britty - June 29, 2009 - 5:22 pm

oh….my…..goodness…..he is simply the cutest kid that ever was. how i long to meet him and see you soon my dear friend!

Ashley Hawkes - June 29, 2009 - 10:03 pm

O my goodness! He looks so much like your husband!! What a cutie!

Becky - June 29, 2009 - 11:47 pm

Those are the cutest football pictures I have ever seen! What a cutie patootie little guy. Hooray for rediscovering your voice…again. :)

melissa - June 30, 2009 - 11:14 am

these are beautiful. love the giggle

Steph - July 4, 2009 - 3:32 pm

Aww, he’s adorable Tonya! Wow! What a sweetie and the pictures are just amazing!

Traci Kannard - July 7, 2009 - 11:03 am

seriously there are no words that can describe you…you are so unique and such an inspiration to me…thank you for all of the ways you enlighten me and uplift me. Your family is so Blessed to have you…I can’t tell you how many times I come and read your blogs and get a renewed thought on life and how to handle things…*tear*…I felt that i needed to tell you those things and let you know that even though we are not close I feel like you are a sister to me…thank you for being you…xo’s

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