after a long day that was finally seeming to slow down as the quiet of the night replaced the beautiful chaos of a home full of young ones…I found myself cuddling with the 9 month old love of my heart, and my sweet sweet Mia…
The quiet actually is due to learning the trick to putting ella and ava to bed is in putting on a “boring old movie”…which basically means anything that does not inlcude zac efron on it’s cast list…
(ava’s first love for sure)…
so in the quiet…I listened to adam’s soft breathing on one side and mia’s yawning on the other…
I just laid there for a few minutes enjoying the lull and watching the reflections of the occiasional car light that illuminated the walls as it made it’s way down the quiet street. mia made a few little noises…and even though I thought she was asleep, she rolled over, put her arms around my neck, and she began to talk…

Mia still is transitioning from her well spoken dialect of “mianese” to that of slightly lucid english…which actually made this whole conversation so much sweeter in my mind…

She asked me if Grandma was still sick…she said that the doctor had helped her and that she had an “owey” on her arm. She mixed in a few sentences that I wish I could have made out…but ended up just finding deep satisfaction in how cute her voice sounded…
she was so serious…so sincere…so pure…so honest…
she talked about her grandma’s tummy (i am assuming her understanding the chemotherapy made her sick for a few days after each round)…she told me grandma’s hair would grow back and i barely make out in the dark room the cute gestures of long hair she made with a sweet smile on her face…
and then she said…
“i love grandma…so much”
her speech went from barely coherent…to crystal clear…and it was so sincere it touched my heart so much…i gleaned the little person emerging from my baby…i felt her love and concern for her grandma…i felt so humbled of the purity of her compassionate little spirit at such a young age…
I told her that grandma loves her very much too…and that grandma was done being sick and that, yes, her hair was going to grow back very soon…

and then i felt the tears swelling in my eyes and I told her that I love grandma very much too…that she is my mommy…i held mia a little tighter…and i told her that she is my mommy like i am mia’s mommy and i love my mom so much…

you never outgrow mom…
in fact, that just seems to be one of those things that grows more and more valuable with time…
(i love you mom…you are so beautiful)

then mia gave me a sweet little kiss and I could feel her little body relax as she traded her concerns and thoughts for sweet dreams and much needed slumber…
i slipped out of bed and left a prayer and a kiss on her sweet little face…
put adam in bed…
and was so thankful for the blessings of mother…
of mine…my strong…beautiful…humble…amazing mother…
and eternally thankful for the perspective again…and again…of how blessed I am to be Mom…
(my mom is doing well…done with chemo…and continuing to be such a source of love and goodness in all our lives)
we love you mom…
xoxo
Tonya Joy
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