you never outgrow mom…

after a long day that was finally seeming to slow down as the quiet of the night replaced the beautiful chaos of a home full of young ones…I found myself cuddling with the 9 month old love of my heart, and my sweet sweet Mia…

The quiet actually is due to learning the trick to putting ella and ava to bed is in putting on a “boring old movie”…which basically means anything that does not inlcude zac efron on it’s cast list…:)(ava’s first love for sure)…

so in the quiet…I listened to adam’s soft breathing on one side and mia’s yawning on the other…

I just laid there for a few minutes enjoying the lull and watching the reflections of the occiasional car light that illuminated the walls as it made it’s way down the quiet street.  mia made a few little noises…and even though I thought she was asleep, she rolled over, put her arms around my neck, and she began to talk…

Mia still is transitioning from her well spoken dialect of “mianese” to that of slightly lucid english…which actually made this whole conversation so much sweeter in my mind…

 

She asked me if Grandma was still sick…she said that the doctor had helped her and that she had an “owey” on her arm. She mixed in a few sentences that I wish I could have made out…but ended up just finding deep satisfaction in how cute her voice sounded…

she was so serious…so sincere…so pure…so honest…

she talked about her grandma’s tummy (i am assuming her understanding the chemotherapy made her sick for a few days after each round)…she told me grandma’s hair would grow back and i barely make out in the dark room the cute gestures of long hair she made with a sweet smile on her face…

and then she said…

“i love grandma…so much”

her speech went from barely coherent…to crystal clear…and it was so sincere it touched my heart so much…i gleaned the little person emerging from my baby…i felt her love and concern for her grandma…i felt so humbled of the purity of her compassionate little spirit at such a young age…

I told her that grandma loves her very much too…and that grandma was done being sick and that, yes, her hair was going to grow back very soon…

and then i felt the tears swelling in my eyes and I told her that I love grandma very much too…that she is my mommy…i held mia a little tighter…and i told her that she is my mommy like i am mia’s mommy and i love my mom so much…

you never outgrow mom…

in fact, that just seems to be one of those things that grows more and more valuable with time…

(i love you mom…you are so beautiful)

then mia gave me a sweet little kiss and I could feel her little body relax as she traded her concerns and thoughts for sweet dreams and much needed slumber…

i slipped out of bed and left a prayer and a kiss on her sweet little face…

put adam in bed…

and was so thankful for the blessings of mother…

of mine…my strong…beautiful…humble…amazing mother…

and eternally thankful for the perspective again…and again…of how blessed I am to be Mom…

(my mom is doing well…done with chemo…and continuing to be such a source of love and goodness in all our lives)

we love you mom…

xoxo

Tonya Joy

 

 

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Sarah W. - February 9, 2010 - 8:39 am

Tears are just streaming down my cheeks now…
What a sweet, loving little girl she is.
How beautiful and strong your mother is…
and the photographs that have captured all the love in your family, precious and gorgeous.

Tyler Jorgenson - February 9, 2010 - 12:29 pm

What a fantastic post Tonya!

Herlehy - February 9, 2010 - 12:50 pm

You have an AMAZING way with words…beautiful post! I am happy that you had that special evening with Mia and Adam. Have a great day!

Heather - February 9, 2010 - 1:32 pm

beautiful post Tonya!

Becky - February 9, 2010 - 7:35 pm

I’m SO glad to hear she’s done with chemo! That’s amazing! And I love her hair that length. She is gorgeous any way she has it. I totally agree about once a mom, always a mom. Even when you’re also a mom and your relationship can grow into more friendship than mother/daughter, you still need a mommy to tell you it’s all going to be okay. I feel like my relationship is better now with my mom than it’s ever been because I finally understand what her role has been the last 30+ years, a role that I largely took for granted before having my own children. What a beautiful post.

Kristin - February 10, 2010 - 1:20 am

I don’t know you and can’t even remember how I stumbled across your blog, but your story has made my eyes swell with tears and my heart with love. Thank you for sharing such an emotional, heartwarming story. I sincerely hope that your Mom continues to do well and will send up a little prayer for her. Just wanted you to know that you’ve blogged out and touched someone! Please send your Mom my “well wishes” from a stranger in NC (regardless of how creepy that may sound….it’s not intended to be creepy, I promise!)

Donna - February 10, 2010 - 8:55 am

Tonya~ I’ve never commented on your blog before, although I love your photos and stories, but I felt compelled to comment on this post. I love the way you love your mom, and the way your children cherish her. What lasting memories you are creating for them. I remember the photo shoot you posted of your mom and dad, and the photos were so touching. You are truly blessed. My dad died from cancer almost 5 years ago, and my youngest two children never met him. But his memory stays alive in our house by the stories my older 2 girls tell the younger ones. I am praying for your mom’s health.

Sue - February 10, 2010 - 4:17 pm

Dear Tonya & Mia, Thanks for thinking of me so sweetly! I love you, too!

Diana Miller - February 10, 2010 - 5:21 pm

What beautiful pictures! Brought tears to my eyes! your mom is such a great lady and my kids loved her as a seminary teacher. Thank you!

julie - February 10, 2010 - 8:53 pm

so sweet. sincere. beautiful.
so very happy to hear that your mother is doing well.
very happy.

Bethany - February 11, 2010 - 12:01 pm

Awww…I only just saw this today. Tonya, you have such a way about you. Your words. Your images. You passion and compassion. You are such an amazing mom yourself – so full of wisdom and love. So glad to hear that your mom is doing well!! What a blessing! Hugs to you and yours!

Hope - February 11, 2010 - 1:18 pm

Moms just make the world go ’round. That’s for sure. Love the moment that you had with your little ones. It makes it all worth it. Prayers and thoughts for your mom and a healthy new year!

Tammy - February 14, 2010 - 1:32 pm

that was so touching. I am glad to hear that things are going well for your mom.

Steph - February 16, 2010 - 10:31 am

This put tears in my eyes. You have such a sweet little girl! I’m so happy to hear that your mom is doing well. I love the photos of your beautiful family!

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